i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
