I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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