There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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