I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
