She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
