so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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