i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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