Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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