so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
