smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
