true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize