do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How naked do you want me to be?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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