There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
