The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
