Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
