last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize