Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Who did Billy Mays play for?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
