I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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