Joe is yelling at the trees again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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