My hand turned me down
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize