Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
