Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
