Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
