Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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