Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
