I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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