too bad you live with your parents still
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize