I think I just saw someone hide a body.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
