Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
