I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
