My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
