When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
