I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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