Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
