I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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