Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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