Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
