Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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