i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
