Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Randomize
