Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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