A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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