We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
