It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
