I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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