i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
