Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize