You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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