I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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