You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
