btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
