if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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