tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she looked like the before picture.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
