Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
