I just made out with a guy for $7.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
