Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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