I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
