My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
