Too much gin, very little bucket
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
