you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
