I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
