Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
