my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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