I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
